In high school, I had these friends I hung out with for the back half of freshman year. Then, somehow (probably something stupid I did, if we’re being honest) I lost touch with them in sophomore year, and was mostly friendless, but sometimes hanging out with these juniors who ultimately were kinda assholes. That lasted for about a year, including a few times I ate my crappy lunch of mozz sticks by myself outside, and then sometime around mid-junior year, I fell back in with those kids from frosh year. That lasted until basically the end of high school, when some kid who now appears to be a researcher in Sweden (HA!) introduced weed and sex to that group, and I was kinda “behind the curve” on those things — I dabbled in the weed, though — and basically ended high school without many friends. So, that was fun. Nice little therapy session in that paragraph, eh?
But I did always think it was funny how things cycle back, and now I wanna discuss this a little bit herein.
The poker cycle back
Discussed this a little bit in this post, but back about 9-10 years ago, I had a series of friends through my ex, and the associated dudes of that group had a monthly Friday night poker game. One time at these games, we actually got into a screaming fight about renting vs. buying. Ha. I think everyone in those games currently owns their home, minus potentially me (and I’m about to change that, so yay).
One girl in the female ecosystem starts dating this dude who’s a bit older than us and we add him to the game. I was probably 29-31 at this point; dude was probably 36-37. Those are wholly different worlds. So for a while, I’m thinking this dude is semi-creepy because I’m down here with my “Nothing can impact me at 30!” worldview and he’s fucking almost 40.
What happens about eight years later? I start dating a 29 year-old and I’m hanging out with her friends and their dudes periodically. See where this is going? I’m 37.7 and they’re all 28-31. Think I felt like an asshole for those poker games back eight years ago? You can bet your bottom dollar I did. You might want to not bet that bottom dollar because there’s a good chance I already lost it. I’m fucking terrible at poker.
And what happens in 1.5 months? Oh, I turn 40. So I’m Poker Guy now. And goddamn it, Poker Guy is almost 50.
The Quaker cycle back
Years ago — wanna say 2014 — I went to a wedding in North Carolina. It was an interesting wedding. Some highlights: I saw a really sick Leo Messi jersey. I saw a couple fight over who could go to the after-party and who had to return to the hotel with the newborn. I had a long discussion about true crime with someone I just met. I argued with a woman at 2am about whether Adam Driver was the next Sean Penn. Good times.
Notice I didn’t say much about the wedding itself, which was ultimately fine. Ever been to a Quaker deal? I’ve been to 3-4 now. There’s a part where people stand up “if they’re moved to” and say something about the bride, the groom, or both. Now, in this North Carolina wedding, it was his second and her first. Most of the people there were for her (I was tied to her, but not closely).
So it got kinda awkward because like 7, 8, 9, 10 people stand up and say something about her and very few people are saying anything about him, but again, it’s logical. Second vs. first, and also brides tend to get more attention at weddings than grooms, who are oddly almost replaceable cogs in the way many weddings are programmed.
I remember thinking it was weird at the time, but whatever. Not my monkey, not my circus.
Flash forward six years. A month from today, I’ll get married again. Second vs. first. And because of COVID, a lot of people can’t travel for me, even if they wanted to — which may not be a high number anyway. So it’ll be the same deal for me, in all likelihood. People aren’t gonna stand up and say stuff, per se, but ya know.
Poker Guy became me, and North Carolina Groom became me. Everything circles back, ya know?
The Lovell cycle back
I’m moving in a minute, but for the last year I’ve lived on a street called Lovell. It’s down the street from a high school baseball field and near a Central Market. Well, bout five years ago, one Saturday my ex and I had gone out with some people during the day, and went to Central Market to get some food. We used Lovell as a cut-back on the way home. I was shitting shotgun, so I’d be on the side of the house I currently live in as we drove back past it. At that exact moment, we happened to be having a conversation about that neighborhood and houses and next steps and all that.
Well, the next step ended up being divorce, ya know? It took a few years, but that was the step. And I was probably discussing that exact neighborhood as I drove past the exact house I’d live in five years later with someone else. It’s kinda nuts.
Again, things cycle back on you in ways you don’t expect. And maybe I’m just discussing the Butterfly Effect, but I’ve already written a post about that, so … eh.
Thoughts?
Hello there!