Damn, two posts today? Heller.
My friend sent me the above photo this morning as I was trudging into a WeWork to do low-impact, moderate-quality white-collar bullshit. It’s of a new hire, potentially at Cintas, on her first day.
When my friend sent it to me, she — who has two sons — wrote “If I had a daughter, I’d be so sad for her, because you know this first day is full of hope and promise, and within weeks she’s going to get harassed, be beaten down by corporate existence, feel like an impostor, feel like a fraud, be snickered about, and all the rest.”
I wrote back: “Yea, in the name of small dick justification and 55 cents at the margin.”
Now look, I ain’t saying that work is better when it’s run by females — although research says it might be — because some women are legit tyrants in their own right. But I’d also say my friend’s initial text isn’t super far off. It’s harder out there for a woman, and God forbid they want to chase a child someday — then the assumptive branding shall begin.
Big fan of new definitions of masculinity, personally. What’s funny is I often get piped on Twitter for being “a toxic male,” when in reality I’m moreso a semi-toxic male who periodically tells the truth about stuff. Sue me. Half the people that tell me that work in HR software, which is roughly as important to society at present as a guy who passed away in 1619. So, ya know, no harm there.
Once more, for the people in the back: guys who run companies think about work, and their relationship to work and life, much differently than you or I do. It’s a game to be won, and in the process of winning games — or, conventionally, making omelettes — some people need to get worked, and some eggs need to get broken. Boom cycle, hire. Bust cycle, lay off. Rinse and repeat. Chase the bonus.
There are some functional orgs out there, and I’m always on the hunt for other ones. And I hope this lady’s career goes swimmingly and beautifully and she achieves all she wants in life, at Cintas and beyond. But would I bet it’s all roses and triple-digit-likes IG posts? I wouldn’t. I’d bet she’s gonna get a little run over small dick justification and 55 cents at the margin.
Welcome to white-collar in modernity. Some have likened it to “chimp rape.”
